Self-Doubt Sucks: Here’s How to Fix It

Ever feel like you’re just not good enough, no matter what you do? You set high expectations for yourself and so, you always fall short. The truth is, your self-concept might be out of sync—and that’s messing with your confidence. Thats where the idea of “Self Concept” steps in.

What is Self-Concept?

Your self-concept is basically how you see yourself. It’s made up of two parts:

• Real Self → Who you truly are right now

• Ideal Self → Who you want to be

When the gap between these two is too big, it creates low congruence, leading to self-doubt and insecurity.

How Does This Affect Your Confidence?

When your ideal self is unrealistic, you constantly feel like you’re failing. Imagine expecting yourself to wake up at 5 AM, work out, read three books a week, and become a millionaire by 30. That’s a lot!

Why Does Self-Concept Help?

If your ideal self has unrealistic expectations—like being perfect at everything—you’ll always feel like you’re falling short. On the other hand, if your real self isn’t working toward meaningful goals, you may feel stuck or unmotivated. Lats read further to understand this better.

How to Fix Your Self-Concept & Boost Confidence

The good news? You can fix this and feel more confident! Here’s how:

1. Set Realistic Goals for Your Ideal Self

• Instead of aiming to be “the best at everything,” focus on small, achievable goals.

• Example: If you want to be more social, start by talking to one new person a week instead of expecting to be an extrovert overnight.

2. Understand Your Ideal Self-Concept Better

• Ask yourself: Why do I want to be this person? Is it because of personal growth or external pressure?

• Adjust your expectations based on what truly makes you happy.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

• Every step closer to your ideal self is progress. Recognizing small achievements helps you feel more accomplished.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

• Nobody is perfect. Mistakes don’t define you—they help you grow. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge your efforts.

Final Thoughts

Your confidence isn’t about being perfect, it’s about making peace with who you are while working toward who you want to be. By setting realistic goals and understanding yourself better, you can bridge the gap between your real self and ideal self, leading to higher self-worth and confidence.

Want to work on your confidence with professional support? Book a therapy session with Sattva Wellness today!

Small Steps = Big Change

Credits: Therapist Manasha